


The Autocorrect Way To Say It

by raendown



Series: The Autocorrect Series [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/pseuds/raendown
Summary: Madara and Tobirama fight over text. Autocorrect makes an effort to help.





	The Autocorrect Way To Say It

_Why do you insist on rejecting every single one of my ideas?_

 

_Because your ideas are stupid._

 

_They are not! You are biased!_

 

_Quit acting like a child, Uchiha._

 

Madara glared at his phone, very tempted to throw the device across the room and watch it smash to little pieces so that he could pretend it was Tobirama’s stubborn head. Nothing could evoke such wild emotions in him quite like his best friend’s little brother.

 

 _You are the one acting like a child._  
_Mito asked you and I to plan his birthday dinner and I am TRYING to do so._  
_It’s you that insists on not cooperating!_

 

_It’s not being uncooperative to want my brother’s party to have a little class._

 

_I have class!_

 

_No, you have shitty ideas and too much money._

 

_Not helping!  
Be an adult for just ONE conversation, I implore you!_

 

_Fine.  
Let’s just fuck and get this over with._

 

His fingers paused halfway through yet another angry text, wide eyes staring at the screen like the words might change in to something that make just a little more sense. He…he couldn’t have meant that could he? Surely he meant something else and would send a correction.

Madara waited…and waited…sitting completely still in his silent apartment and choking on his own airways. They weren’t _like_ that! If there was one truth in his life that had been forever constant it was that he and Senju Tobirama did not get along. It took less than three minutes of being in the same room for them to be at each other’s throats and it drove Hashirama positively up the wall. He’d actually questioned Mito’s sanity when she told him that planning the party was to be a joint effort between them.

When no further messages came within five minutes Madara could stand it no longer.

 

_What?_

 

 _What?_  
_Oh._  
_That got autocorrected._  
_*Fucking get this over with._  
_…_  
_I would honestly much rather do the first, though._

 

 _WHAT_  
_DID_  
_YOU_  
_JUST_  
_DO NOT MOCK ME SENJU_

_I’m not mocking you!_

 

_What did Hashirama tell you!???!_

 

 _What does us fucking have to do with Hashirama?_  
_Jesus Madara._  
_If you’re that averse to the idea then just say so._

 

Madara clutched his phone tightly in both hands, breathing deeply through his nose and telling himself that he could do this. Yes he could. He could absolute type the words he wanted to but almost didn’t dare.

 

_I never said I was averse to the idea._

 

_What?_

 

_I’m not repeating it._

 

 _You don’t have to. I’m never deleting that text._  
_It’s going to sit in my phone forever._  
_I may print it out and frame it._  
_“The Capitulation of Uchiha Madara.”_

 

_Why are you such a smarmy asshole?_

 

_I’m a smarmy asshole you want to fuck._

 

_You said it first!!!_

 

_Which begs the question, are you on your way here yet?  
It’s very hard to fuck you from a distance._

 

_Right…now?_

 

 _I’m home alone._  
_I’m naked._  
_And if you must know I’ve been touching myself throughout this entire conversation._

 

Madara had never put on a pair of shoes so fast in his life. He tripped reaching for his keys and nearly brained himself on the hallway table but managed to catch himself and bolt for the door. He ran down three flights of stairs and across the street to the carpark before he remembered to text Tobirama back.

 

_I’m on my way now.  
Don’t you DARE finish before I get there._

 

_I’ll be waiting._


End file.
